For A Change

What a great weekend I had! Well, not really that great because I missed mass.

Anyways, Reggie and I went to Sentosa with Allen kasi it was Allen's first time to go there yesterday. So ayun, we went there medyo late na but we managed to do Skyride and Luge then tambay by the beach until Songs of the Sea. Tapos we had dinner at Food Republic. Medyo kapagod especially for me and Allen kasi two consecutive nights kaming puyat, Fri and Sat, as in we slept 5am and 4am dahil sa walang sawang kwentuhan at takutan namin haha.

Then today, it was my first time to go to gym in the morning. I was very hesitant at first kasi I don't find it comfortable. But I pushed it since I won't be available on the next few days until Thursday, maybe. And I thought it was much better than going there after office. In fact everything was ok until I realized I left my belt! Kaya I bought pa a new belt kasi annoying tong suot kong pants today. Good thing I'm not wearing long sleeves so no need for me to tuck my polo in. I was really pulling my pants up while walking. This was originally Reggie's pants kaya eto mga 2-inch bigger yata sa kin hehehe.

Lately I had a number of deep moments contemplating on life and struggles. And it was relieveing to know na in one way or another God is giving me answers from different packages. Some of it I didn't discover myself. Some people lead me to see those answers. Tapos medyo mas open din ako lately about my emotions.

Sometimes, especially when we don't trust the person fully, we still have some reservations to open up ourselves, all out. Or minsan kahit well-trusted na natin ang isang tao, we still hold back some thoughts. But I've learned something today which I strongly agree. That we are not responsible for our feelings therefore, no feeling can cause us shame. I am quoting this from the book I'm reading now.

God has been so good. We seek for answers, He'll give it to us some times unpredictably.

Cravings

I had my little craving this lunch. I phoned Mike so we can have lunch together at Raffles Place where he is heading to meet Dianne, his wife. So we had lunch together at this restaurant named 5 Loaves 2 Fish and I thought it was owned by a r. catholic. I ordered beef set which is composed of stir fried bean sprouts, egg, and meat. I did not get satisfied though because I am a heavy eater. I usually eat 2 cups of rice per meal and though my girl friends envy me for not gaining weight despite my eating habit (thank you!), I hate it on the other hand.

He never convinced me to eat again but Mike offered his company in case I wanted to hop to eat some more (if I know! hehe). We decided to take sweets this time and everytime I think about that, Ben and Jerry's always pops into my mind. But there was a slight problem. I don't have any cash. And so is Mike. Fortunately they accept credit card for minimum purchase of S$20 up. Since I'm all set up to eating B&J, I didn't think twice.

I ordered 6 cups of B&J so I can reach the credit card requirements. We had 2 scoops of Strawberry Cheesecake (my all-time favorite!), 1 Chunky Monkey, 1 Choco Chip Cookie Dough, 1 Phish Food, and 1 Sweet Cream and Cookie. It was topped with caramel, whipped cream, those colorful sprinkles, and slices of banana.

It was a bit funny when the crew asked me if my friend and I can eat all of it. I told her a straight 'Yes' and 'Watch and you'll be surprised'. And we were not surprised. We managed to eat all of it, including some bites of the cone base. Thanks to the warm water the crew gave me. I think she wanted me to suffer from tonsillitis.

Loeb

So weird. I had gone to bed half passed midnight after reading the first chapter of "The Interpretation of Murder" by Jed Rubenfeld. It is my usual dose when I can hardly put myself to sleep at night, which happens to me most of the time now. But what makes it weird is that I woke up sometime 5am, and feel so restless. And instead of summoning the spirit of sleep I started to reckon my recent past, active present, and short-goaled future.

I also recalled the whats and whos few hours before I sleep. The last person I talked to was my housemate Mike, who just came back from Pinas with his wife. I missed them. The last person I spoke over the phone was Allen Aberdough, who murderously eat our leche flan last weekend. This man is so easy to befriend with, and I enjoy his company. The last person I sms was Ryan Gonzales, who is as crazy and witty as I am, that we spend 1 hour working out, and the rest laughing. The last person kissed goodnight was Jess, who came by our place to fit her gown for Mike's wedding. Geez she was curvaceous despite her extra large size. She reminded me of Mau Marcelo during the Asian Idol. Of course my friend is way to pretty and sexy. The last person I chatted online with was Naida, which made me think now if she was the main reason I got this nightmare after asking me seriously if she is pretty. I thought she was. But she is prettier now.

Weird. Really weird. And when I checked on my phone last night before going to bed, I noticed this weird numbers on my message folder. 77 Inbox, 77 Outbox, 7 Drafts. Creepy.

Of course, there is no mystery. It's only numbers and it's insignificant. But it gave me a thought.

I must have been watching Patayin Sa Sindak Si Barbara too much. Good morning Lord!

Adrenaline

Adrenaline. A hormone released by our body in reaction to stress. It prepares the body for 'flight or fight'. (www.diabetes.com).

It may sound opinionated but I think the more adrenal glands we released the more stressed we can become. Well I don't know and I don't want to know because all I care for now is that I feel high and this hormone keeps me going and going til it's gone.

It's tested. When my adrenaline is up, I can do more things, I can accomplish more tasks. I feel like calling people I need to call, run to errands as much as I could for a day, send important emails to as many people. At the end of the day as it dries up, I feel lifeless. Stress becomes more fatal. Good thing I have the gym to help me recuperate.

Today I feel like I have so many things. I went to my friend's office and had lunch right there on her office desk. We did some catching ups then we discussed some matters for our dance performances for CFC Dinner and Dance this Feb. When I reached back office, I did research on electronic commerce because I need to develop courseware by the end of this month. Then on the side I sms all SFC dancers for our first rehearsal this Saturday. On the top of on-the-sides I keep calling my friends who are planning to go to gym and refer them to my friend. Then I am mentally arranging my plans when I go back to Pinas on March for one week. There is Anilao, Batangas 2-day dive plan with Jess, Lenie, and Jon; there is Bora or Palawan or Isla Verde plan hay...it's stressful and thrilling at the same time because I am looking forward to all of these.

There is more but like I said, adrenaline keeps me going, and jumping from one state to another. I just hope to finish at least something when it stops pumping.

Looking Forward

I should have entitled this as "Looking For Words" instead because I so am wordless, blogless these days. I have been out the past couple of months but at least I am somehow back now for new year's sake.

What made me excited to write this is that even before 2007 ended, I already have some prescheduled activities, my sort of to-do lists for this year. Well, it is not really a resolution; I have ceased myself doing that after havnig an established idea that resolutions for my case are nothing but an anticipation of my bleak future. Or maybe, just maybe, I was not being realistic. Hmm...at least now I am!

True enough, my present is so pregnant of the future! Someone said this. So here are my merged lists of priorities, plans, pre-scheduled activities, etc for this year.

TRIP SCHEDULES

Q1
March - Pinas vacation and Mike's wedding

Q2
April 18-20 - Vietnam with friends
May - Boracay (?) no plan B yet

Q3
July - UK (?) if time permits

Q4
Oct - Bhutan

PRIORITIES
1. Health
2. Relationship
3. Career

ALL-YEAR PLANS
1. Makalipat sa bagong work!
2. Gain weight and I am working on it!
3. Invest on fixed assets
4. Buy laptop

I think this is all for now. It is really hard to think kapag gutom tapos nagchachat pa while doing this blog. I'll just update this next time. Bye blog.