Thursday, September 28, 2006

Goodbye Kero Kero Pi

I cut my hair short today.
And I don't care how much I spent for it.
That's it.
That's all I want to say.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Be My Singer

Can somebody sing these songs for me please...More than a relief, these sounds are working like a butcher's knife gashing me to death...And I would rather face it head on than hunt me for a lifetime...
 
DESPERADO
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses,
You've been out ridin fences for so long now,
Oh and you're a hard one, but I know that you've got your reasons,
THE THINGS THAT ARE PLEASIN' YOU CAN HURT YOU SOMEHOW.

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able.
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet.
Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the ones you can't get.

Desperado, you ain't gettin no younger,
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin you home,
And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin.
Your prison is walking through this world all alone.

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime,
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine,
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day.
And you're losin all your highs and lows,
Ain't it funny how the feelin goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses,
Come down from your fences- open the gates.
It may be rainin, but there's a rainbow above you.
You'd better let somebody love you,
LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU.
You'd better let somebody love you,
before it's too late.
 
HERE WITHOUT YOU
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that i saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And i don't think i can look at this the same
But all these miles that seperate
Disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life was overrated
But i hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
And don't ask me if I'm into that four-letter word 'coz I am not. Damn. I fooled myself again...


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Self-Destructive

I don't actually know how to start this entry. All I want is to write anything that pops out of my mind and put it all together as much as I could. God I was never this stumped before. I was never this lost my entire life. I was never this depressed. I was never this stupid and mean. How can I be this broken and interrupted. I don't even know how to pick up the pieces because I have never intended to break it off in the first place. It just happens. It happens because I cheated. I cheated myself. I cheated others.
 
I tried putting my feet on the pond, and now, before I knew it, I am dragged to the ocean, defenseless, surrounded by souls who have done the same shit of mistakes in their lives.
 
How can I be so deeply alone when I'm surrounded by friends. How can I be so deeply alone when we have our God who promise us eternal companionship. Why do I feel so alone if I have chosen to take this path in the first place. This is the absurdest event of my life. I could not believe I could live the worst dual life I have never imagined. How can I be good inside my community and bad outside.
 
I feel like a ghoul wandering around and cannot cross over. I feel so lost, so lost. How can things be so ironic that before I started the game, I know where it would lead me and yet, I continue playing it until I realize I got close to hell.
 
I cannot continue this anymore...I just want to talk. I don't want to listen. I don't want to hear anything.
...


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Thursday, September 14, 2006

T.G.I.W

It's been quite a while since I was on this mode. I feel so wasted today and yet so blessed because finally, at least even for this day, I reached the zenith of my hyperactive mode and it feels so tremendously good. I just hope I could carry this on for each day ahead.

It might not look so heavy when listed, but hands on these have really made my day completely and fulfillingly wasted. Sounds ironic.

Anyways, here it goes:
  • Morning - did 3 flyers, one single-page web flyer, thank you poster
  • Lunch - had it with Kuya Edwin at Raffles Place and took 30-min walk under the burning heat of the sun to my office.
  • After lunch - uploaded something over the web. file my pile of papers to folders (this one is no-brainer!). prepared lessons and exercises for my 3 stressful classes tomorrow and friday.
  • While inside the toilet and MRT - composed steps for our dance presentation for Sunday Dedication at SFC CLP.
  • Late afternoon - had a short intelligent talk with Rohani, my officemate.
  • Early evening - back to office and resume my prep for my classes. talked to my CLP participant something really serious over the phone...
  • Past 8pm - with my participant at United Square Starbucks to discuss some things about CLP.
  • Almost 9:30pm - dance practice with other SFC members and participants somewhere in Novena. It takes like 30 mins to walk from MRT to Bona's house. It's so obscure going to her place that I feel like having foot spa afterwards. Very tiring!
  • 10:30pm - went home.
  • 11pm - dinner at home.
  • almost 12mn - called up some of my SFC bros and sis to discuss something. And I forgot it's midnight! Some did not answer my call hehehe....
  • And here I am in my blog...

I'm so proud to say that I'm really so with God today that He's blessed me with 777 pails of energy and patience to do these all.

Thank you Lord for this wonderful day! and Thank God I'm Wasted. :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Two Sat In A Row

Eversince I almost lost my nightlife on weekdays, I have considered Saturday to be my recovery day. And thank God that I am really surrounded by angels in the form of my SFC friends, making my weekend really full-packed.

August 25
We had our 10am-1pm badminton session at Clementi. It's like 45 minutes away from my place now. I don't get used to travelling far within Singapore lately since I started staying near in the city. I am really a city person. And Clementi is at the opposite side.

My friends and I gathered first at McDonalds to wait for everybody. I think the last one who arrived was Serge! hahaha. But waiting is worth the while because his badminton prowess gives us more challenge. He's such a monster! hehehe...Peace Serge! Galing kasi kainis.

After the session, I kind of freshened up a bit and had lunch together before going to my afternoon class. Oh yes! I have Saturday class running til the 16th Sept. I swear it's really a hassle. Nevertheless, I enjoy my students.

After my class, and that was around 7pm, I went to my other group of friends in Kovan and had dinner there. Then we went to Cathaty Ciniplex and watched The Devil Wears Prada. No comment about that chick flick. Let the girls do their thing. ;)

We went home almost 2am I think.

Sept 2
Oh how I love this day! I actually went to bed at 4am from our company's Dinner and Dance party, but it didn't stop me from going to my morning badminton session. This time it was a bit earlier, 8am-11am. I went at the same place with my SFC friend Kuya Marnie, who just had his birthday a day before. We're supposed to give him a bday surprise on our badminton but plan changed.

After badminton, I went home and prepared myself for Saturday class. After my class, we had our fellowship with my household brothers to celebrate Marnie's birthday. It was really fun! That was the best fellowship I had so far in Singapore. And how active really am I for surprises! I love giving surprises. So after some tricks to prepare for Marnie's bday surprise, we finally had dinner at Cafe Cartell.

I hope I can upload our pictures soon because it was really very very funny, especially when Marnie blew the candles, he's like superman who gathered as much air as he could on his mouth and puff off the candle lights like blazing fire. And the rest are even more fun.

We then went somewhere in Kim Seng for our bowling. We had 3 sets and Kuya Edwin, our big and oldest brother hehehe was such a pro.

Right after the session, we went so wacky taking a number of pictures inside the bowling center. We went really crazy! We don't even mind people looking at us while doing our pose and all. Oh no I should really post those pix here. We went pic wild up to the lift.

Was it a memorable fellowship for all of us.